ADHD and Executive Function
Procrastination, ADHD and the Shame Cycle
Putting something off, feeling terrible about it, and then avoiding it even more is an exhausting loop. When attention and motivation work differently, procrastination often has less to do with not caring and more to do with how hard it is to begin. Therapy can look at both the task and the shame that builds around it.
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How the Loop Builds
A task feels unclear or boring, so you put it off. The delay creates guilt, and the guilt makes the task feel heavier, so opening the file or the email becomes even harder. By the time a deadline arrives, the work is rushed and the story you tell yourself gets harsher. Mapping this sequence on paper with a therapist often makes it feel less mysterious and more workable. Seeing the steps laid out also shows where a small change could interrupt the cycle.
Shame Is Not a Motivator
Many people believe that being hard on themselves is the only thing that gets them moving. Sometimes panic does force action at the last minute, but it tends to cost a lot of energy and leaves you dreading the next task. CBT looks at the self-critical thoughts that show up and asks whether they actually help, without asking you to pretend you are fine with missed deadlines. The aim is a kinder and more accurate inner voice that still takes responsibility seriously.
Shrink the First Step
Starting is often the hardest part. A useful question is: what is the smallest visible action that would count as beginning? Opening the document and typing a title. Writing three bullet points. Setting a timer for ten minutes with permission to stop. These steps can feel almost too small, which is the point. You can test them during the week and notice what made starting easier or harder. Momentum often arrives after starting rather than before it.
Notice What the Task Is Really About
Sometimes avoidance is about the task itself, and sometimes it is about what the task represents, such as fear of being judged or a reminder of past failures. In sessions, Marie may ask what goes through your mind right before you switch to something else. Understanding that moment can point toward a practical change that a new productivity system alone would miss. Naming the fear underneath can make the task itself feel smaller and more approachable, and it often explains why some tasks are harder to start than others.
Start With a Conversation
Marie offers a free 15-minute consultation to talk through what is happening and whether her practical, collaborative CBT approach seems like a fit. Sessions are 50 minutes, and individual sessions are $200. Online therapy is available anywhere in Oregon, and you can ask about current Portland office availability if meeting in person matters to you. Bringing one or two concrete examples to the call is usually more useful than a full history.
Questions You May Have
Is procrastination always related to ADHD?
No. Many people procrastinate for different reasons, including anxiety and perfectionism. Therapy looks at your specific pattern rather than assuming a cause.
Do I have to fix my procrastination before starting therapy?
Not at all. You can come in with the loop still running. That is often the most useful time to look at it.
Marie Sarte, LCSW
A conversation is a place to start.
Request a free 15-minute consultation to discuss fit and practical questions.
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