Social Anxiety in Your Late Teens and Twenties

What Social Anxiety Can Look Like Day to Day

Social anxiety is not the same as being quiet or introverted. Many people who live with it want connection and still feel blocked. It can look like avoiding eye contact in class, ordering the same food so you do not have to ask questions, or replaying a short conversation for hours afterward. Some people mainly fear judgment in groups, while others feel it most one on one. Describing your own situations in concrete terms is a helpful starting point for therapy.

The Predictions Behind the Fear

CBT pays close attention to the predictions your mind makes before and during social moments. Thoughts like "they will think I am boring" or "everyone will see my face turn red" can feel like facts. In therapy, you and Marie can slow those predictions down, write them out, and ask what evidence supports them. The goal is not forced positivity. It is a more accurate and flexible view that leaves room for you to act on what matters to you.

Safety Behaviors That Keep the Cycle Going

People often use quiet strategies to get through social situations: holding a phone as a shield, planning every sentence, staying near one friend, or only speaking when certain of the answer. These habits make sense, yet they can prevent you from learning that you could cope without them. Therapy can help you spot your own safety behaviors and decide, at a pace you agree to, which ones to experiment with dropping.

Building Practice Into Real Life

Practice in CBT is planned together and sized to your week. For a college student, it might mean asking one question in a seminar. For someone newly working, it might mean joining a team lunch without an exit plan. Afterward, you look at what actually happened compared with what you predicted. Over time, those comparisons become information you can use, rather than another reason to criticize yourself. Notes from these practices also give you something concrete to bring into the next session.

Getting Started With Marie

Marie Sarte, LCSW, works with teens, young adults, and adults in Oregon using a practical, collaborative CBT approach. Sessions are available online across Oregon, and you can ask about current Portland office availability if meeting in person matters to you. A free 15-minute consultation is a low-pressure way to describe what is happening and ask questions before deciding anything. You might mention which settings feel hardest right now, such as class, work, dating, or friendships, so the conversation can start with what matters most to you.

Questions You May Have